Friends, please welcome my sweet friend Sabrina to our space today. Sabrina and I met because we are in a small close knit mastermind and I was instantly drawn to her. Not only is her blog amazing and beautiful, but her soul is as well. I know if we lived closer, we would be real life coffee friends. Sabrina’s husband has been away on deployment and I have been in awe of how she copes so gracefully. I am so honored that she chose to write about a topic so near and dear to her heart on Just A Simple Home. Thank you so much Sabrina!
If you happen to connect with Sabrina today, please give her a congratulations…her husband is coming home today!
this is Sabrina over from MeetOurLife. Usually I write about our home renovation journey and diy projects. However, today I will be sharing with you something rather personal- how I grew through my husband’s deployment.
Our Deployment Story and Why I am Writing This
Let me start by telling you our situation. My husband is in the Florida Air Guard and this is his third deployment while it is my first. During the entire time he was at safe location so we had less to worry about. Nonetheless going through a deployment as a military spouse especially your first isn’t easy. I tried to prepare myself as much as I could but what I read wasn’t really helping. All they ever talked about was how you can distract yourself. None of them described the feelings or the stages you would go through. This deployment was one of the toughest things I went through and I wish I was more prepared. So I want to take this opportunity and help other women who are going through this. Make sure that you are ready and that you know what is coming for you.
New Emotional Cycles of Deployment
One of the things I want to touch first is the handout “New Emotional Cycles of Deployment”. I received it from another spouse after my husband left. Funnily enough, the first time I was reading it I thought “This will never be me”. However as time passed I realized that I was actually going through the stages. I won’t go too much into detail about each of the stages. But I will give you examples of how I felt like and tell you how I made it through them.
The Emotional Sages – 1 and 2
Before my husband even left I was pretty much in denial and anxious the entire time (stage 1). It was super stressful trying to get ready, the house done and it was all just too much for me. After he left I started to cope a little but then I started to feel detached and I withdrew myself (stage 2). I was angry and sad for we didn’t get to talk a lot. (This was actually the case during the entire deployment thanks to poor internet connection.) I was mad at my husband for neglecting and I was mad at myself for thinking this way. It was a tough time, I prayed a lot and asked for God’s forgiveness.
The Emotional Stages – 3 and 4
Once I realized we both did everything possible, I got used to being alone. Around 4 months in I started to feel tired though almost burned out (stage 3) and I just wanted the deployment to be over. It helped to talk about it especially to my husband. At first I didn’t want to complain because he was going through something way tougher than me. But then one day about 5 months in I bursted and just told him how I felt. That moment changed everything and I started to feel more confident (stage 4). I got more confident to talk about my feelings with my husband. He kept talking me up which helped a lot. Honestly acknowledging that this deployment was tough was one of the hardest things. But once he knew what I was going through things changed for the better.
The Emotional Stages – 5 through 7
As I am writing this my husband will be home by the end of October. So I only made it to stage 5 which has been the best stage to be honest. I started to get excited once it finally sunk in that this will be over soon. The past few weeks have been really stressful but they have also been nice. My husband and I got to talk more and started planning our future together. Honestly the anticipating can get unbearable at times but it is also nice. It almost feels like when we started dating. When you can’t wait to receive a text or talk over the phone and you just can’t wait to see each other. And who doesn’t like to go through that again?
How my Relationship to God helped me Grow
One thing I learned early on was how much I needed God to get through this. Every time I felt low I would go to him and pray about it. Especially during the time where I felt neglected. I got more involved in church to feel needed and also to grow my relationship to God. Knowing that He was taking care of me helped me so much. I learned to put my husbands needs before mine, what my role was during all of this and how to be a godly wife. Honestly I could have never made it without God and looking back I am so grateful for this experience. I have grown so much in my confidence and in the way I look at my husband. Our relationship has grown so much and I am so beyond thankful for that.
And so I am leaving you on a happy note. I hope this will be helpful to everyone who is going through a deployment. Believe me I keep you in my prayers and I hope that you will get through it the way I did. Thank you so much for stopping by and feel free to reach out to me if you ever need someone to talk to.